Yes, just as the title says, I've lost my mojo.
I finally came to this conclusion, when I was sitting down feeling a bit.......... hmmm....... like I've lost my MOJO!!!!!
Thankfully, it's not a depression thing, nor is it as bad as I had it once before many years ago.
I have no real reason to feel this way - best term would be I'm feeling BLAH.
All is good in my world.
I am happy.
The family is all good.
The home is all good.
Work is all good.
No one knows that I'm feeling this way - everything is going along as per usual.
I seem to have lost my ability to handle stress well. I am a stresser by nature, but (mostly) have always handled it well. Over the past two weeks, I have had some things happen that caused me a lot of stress - however it shouldn't have done this because the things weren't that bad or stressful. Things have been like this for a number of years - and I wasn't like this before.
It is sad, but I know that the terrible incident that happened to me about 4 years ago has damaged me in a lifelong way. Firstly, my blood pressure went very high (when this situation happened) and I needed medication to bring it down. Although I have tried to come off the medication, I am not able to - even after all this time. I also found that I couldn't cope with stress very well - mainly a stressful situation type of thing - and it is clear that this is still happening - even after all this time.
Of course, when I stress, I get sick. And yes after a huge headache and feeling sick, I then got a terrible lurgy and had to have 1.5 days off work. I'm still getting over the lurgy but feel a lot better now.
I have now recognised that I have changed. Of course I already knew this, but the things that changed that I didn't like so much - like my coping ability with stress & my blood pressure etc, I never accepted. I wanted it to change. I wanted it to be different. I wanted to get back to the pre-terrible incident me (well some of it). It wasn't happening.
But, I now realise, that with good change comes not so good change and I have to learn to accept that.
So, yesterday I decided that I had to do something about losing my Mojo, losing my passion, just feeling a bit BLAH.
Bascially that means re-focus and re-evaluation. Starting to make new habits, both in mind and body.
I am very grateful to the universe for what we have - we really do have a great life (amongst some challenges along the way).
We all have some downs every now and again. I'm looking forward to the UP!
Rach
xxx
